A spy no more...

 I screamed. Oh no! not the... Then I woke up. Another nightmare about my past. I had recently(like two hours before) resigned from my job of being the c.i.a.'s top field agent. I'd had enough of breaking the law for one lifetime(espionage is a major crime). But still, I could be arrested when I traveled out of the US or Canada. I was still living a life of secrets. Although I made about 50,000,000 dollars a month(that's where your tax money goes) I wasn't happy. I knew I had to quit blowing up buildings and hurting people for almost no reason."Being bad is what they do, not who they are."- Maxwell Smart, Get Smart. I tried taking that to a another level. I always knew something was wrong, after my mom and dad died in the London bombing attack on July 7 2005. I was born in 1987(I am 24) and that was six years ago. I was about to turn nineteen. I had nothing except for distant relatives in far away places. So I was recruited by the c.i.a. I began training immediately. I was their best. Now retired with about 3,600,000,000 dollars in my saving account I journey into the world with no fake i.d., Taser, Pistol or any kind of lethal weapons(poisonous nail polish, exploding floss, 5 karat diamond earrings that open to reveal a lethal laser pointer and lipstick dart guns were my favorite...) makes me feel unsafe even though I could kill you in less than half a minute. If I ever run out of money (I doubt it) I'm covered... the c.i.a. insured me for life. SHOPPING HERE I COME!!!!!